Sorry Cheers. I couldn’t help myself.
But considering I mentioned that I would do a post on meeting friends, how could I not use it?
And for those of you who grew up in 90’s watching (or in my case not allowed to) the Friends and wondering why the hell didn’t I choose that….well because like I said…I never have watched a single episode!
So friends…that thing that’s like a dentist appointment-either you are someone who is driven in life by a cleaning, x ray and cavity sealants ….or you’re normal and dread it like family reunions.
Now while I happen to be one of those weirdos who in fact does enjoy going to the dentist, I hate having to make friends.
Nothing is more torturous to me than having to go to a party or gathering where I either a. don’t know single person and hate the world, or b. where i kinda know someone and have to rely on them and yet still…hate the world.
Coming to Korea I was lucky enough to have a premade friend living within about 15 minutes of my location and another living in Busan. Not only did they help me out with learning how to function the first few months, but it was nice to have people to talk to that understood my frustrations about school, living in Korea …the freezing weather.
But most people I think aren’t as lucky as I am. Thankfully there are language exchange groups that many of my friends have met their current friends through.
Though my own experience through language exchange wasn’t bad, it was obviously more of a social gathering to speak in English. I didn’t really learn anything actually…I learned more from my students. But I’m sure that’s not always the case and if you are looking for a chance to socialize it’s a great opportunity for Koreans and foreingers to be together.
Another way to meet people is find the foreigner group in your area. Facebook is the best bet for finding groups in your local areas. Now I don’t personally do “foreigner” night here in Pyeongtaek just because due to the high amount of drunk soldiers making donkeys look like Stephen Hawking, these non 4 legged asses are embarrassing. But don’t let that dissuade you. If you live in a read where there might not be that many foreigners then take advantage of it. Its good to have contact info with people who have been in Korea for a while and know the in’s and out’s ..the do’s and don’ts etc.
Now if either of those sound unappealing to you there is the chance if you are a new teacher in Gyeonggi-Do that you will be sent to the GIFLE program. It’s like a 3 day 2 night adult camp/college experience that no one asked for.
From the shared bathrooms, to the dorms, the caf, scheduled classes as well as “entertainment” night…I literally felt like I was back in Freshman year in college. Now while I kind of enjoyed it, I was horribly nervous because I knew I would have to engage with other students, do stupid group work that I hate more than just about anything in the world, and of course “be a apart of the group”. My particular group was ….how I put this nicely….loud?
Now yes I did become friends with about 4 or 5 of them and still keep in contact with 3 of them on a regular basis…but let me tell you those first two days sucked. However, if you are given (read: forced into going) the opportunity it is a good chance. You might be more friendly than me and make friends. It’s also a nice break that you can take from teaching without getting docked from your paid vacation.
The downside-there isn’t much there so bring entertainment, hair products, towels, breakfast (yeah…this IS korea ) and anything that you will need to fall asleep because you will be sharing a room with 1-3 other people. Luckily I had 1 other roommate but the way it was set up was we each had our own side of the dorm so it was like having our own bathroom. Now they said that they provide shampoo/soap but DON’T believe this..a bunch of girls had a meltdown over this. Luckily I need a ton of conditioner and bring it where ever I go (thick hair problems) so I was lucky.
I’m not sure if I learned anything really, but it was something I’m glad I had to do. Especially since it was around the same time as Buddha’s birthday I had a really long break from work. While it still hasn’t improved my whole perspective on working in groups and meeting new people….overall it was a positive thing.
Now onto my next :where to meet friends and brainwash people into like you…you know the sequel to ” how to make friends and influence people”…..finding random ass groups on facebook. I kid you not.
That’s how I found my current choir. Though I still yet to make a friend after 3 weeks (…yeah I don’t even know what to say about this) due to my “resting bitch face” and “ice queen personality ” (my friend told me I had this kind of personality…so clearly I’m elsa!) I WILL NOT GIVE UP HOPE! Just kidding. I mean yes I am very happy that I am in the group and for me this is more about singing and less about making friends though I should probably to at least try to make 1 friend…yeah that would be good.
Maybe I should get that book “How to socialize better” that Suho gives to Kyungsoo in EXO’s Showtime Christmas episode. Speaking of….
KPOP! Or any music you are interested. But from personal experiences….of my friends they have made friends through KPOP. They go to concerts and the fans pretty much are really nice to each other. I mean…at least the ones I’ve been to so far….that could all change next weekend when I go to the EXO Encore show in Seoul….
But notwithstanding said concert, friends have made friends through concerts, waiting in line for fan events, etc. The community despite having “fan wars” is pretty tight knitted, at least for the foreign fans.
And I’m sure that’ the case if you go to another other musical event. I know the Jazz Festival that’s held in Spring is spread out over 3 days with a lot of acts and I’m sure you can meet a lot of people that way. You just can’t be afraid to approach peoople. Or if you are like me, you look confused/frustrated/lost and someone takes pity on your poor sad soul. (Shout out to the really sweet girls at the Beast Concert who not only helped me figure out that my lightstick was broken, but went with me to the merch tent and helped me explain to the workers that I needed a new one-an neither of the girls spoke a word of English)
Now despite all that crap above-all the concerts-all the get togethers-all the bs programs your co teacher might send you to-the one friend that I cherish the most is one that I met on my own in a non forced way.
It’s like online dating-it’s works for some people, just not me.
I actually met my friend while trying to find something to replace my starbucks addiction-not only is it not as available as in USA but usually it’s about 33% more expensive.
So I found a chain within walking distance and wound up befriending my barista. I was really impressed with her English and her willingness to talk to me. It grew from there to impromptu Korean lessons when the store was slow, and slowly she became more than just my barista. After she quit we were able to spend more time together, getting together once a week-a one on one language exchange if you will…except that I actually learned something. It was nice because unlike classes if I heard something that was commonly used, or if I wanted something to yell at my students when they were being bad (see climbing out of 5th story window) then I could freely ask her.
Sadly she moved to Seoul for college and I haven’t seen her in a long time but we still chat and I do get to visit with her on Saturday. So there you have it-despite all the forced possible chances to make a lasting friend…I managed to do it on my own. SEE MOM I CAN BE SOCIABLE!
So if you just “put yourself out there” a phrase my mom beat to death when I was growing up, you’re bound to find at least 1 friend in Korea.
Next time: ……co teaching issues. Now that I’ve started my new year I have a new co teacher…for the third time in 1 year. And while I didn’t realize it I was spoiled by the 2 previous ones, my current one is everything that I hated about my worst middle school teacher. So we will talk about what a good co teacher should do vs some of the nightmares that my friends have faced, and what you can do (or sometimes sadly, not do) in these cases.
House of Lilacs 